Will my questions ever have an answer?
Saturday, 29 March 2014 | 11:18 | 0 commentsHey !
So , in this world , since the day we were born ,our mind will be full with curiosity . And when there's curiosity ,there's bound to be a lot of questions . Usually , when we were small , our parents would answer all of our question . Even if it's complicated to answer because we are so damn creative (Pat urself on the back bro!) . Even so , years goes by , and soon , you'll have to find ur own answers to ur question . No , I dont mean all the questions related to studies , I mean question about your daily life , friends and etc . Sometimes you can turn to someone and ask for opinion about them and get ur answers but some are just not meant to be answered or can't even find the right answer . You'll only wonder "Will my question ever have an answer?"
I dont share my problems , I stop sharing because , I couldnt find the answers I needed when I share my problems . Yes , yes , Sharing Is Caring . Someone gotta tell the person who made tht quote that not all things can be shared and when we dont share , it doesnt mean it's not caring ! No one understands me . Inside of me is a like a timid rat , trapped in cage , waiting to be free , to be rescued , to explode and to be told "There's nothing to be afraid of . I'm always here for you". I know , sounds like a fairytale which never happens . I don't show my true self to anyone . I'm like a 2 year old child , full of curiosity , excitement . For a 2 year old , happiness is the only emotion they have . Because most people would cheer a 2 year old up when it is crying . Trying their best to console the baby . I know I would when I see a baby cry . It's nice to have that feeling , y'know? To be consoled when you're down . Yes I have friends , I have family to turn to when I'm down. But I choose not to . Because they don't understand what I've been through . Yes , they're wiser , but damn , it's complicated. Even if I'm full with curiosity , I dont much problem when it comes to studying . I dont go blurr all the way . I normally catch things up easily . Even my Maths teacher said , "Cpt tangkap eh kamu Afrina . Bgusnya kamu" and my aunt "Aunty dlu tak secpt tangkap mcm kakak , adaorg kena ajar aunty , dua tiga kali , bru aunty dpt tangkap , but you kakak , teacher explained once , you understand the whole concept already . I'm impressed" Even when I catch my studies faster than my classmates , sometimes , I slow when it comes to reality . When I talk to someone , tht someone must have a lot of patience when talking to me , bcs , I tend to blurr out easily or become clumsy . I dont why .
Sometimes , when I'm alone in school or at home , or being scolded by someone . I tend to ask myself . Am I really that bad ? Am I not good enough? Do I really deserve all of these people ? Why do these people accept me? Why are y'all friends with me?I'm not even a good person , let alone , a better person to be with . Would they really accept my true colours? What will be my future with them? Will it turn out great if .... ? What can I do to make them happy? What did I do wrong? Why am I so stupid? Why am I so careless? Who would listen to me? Who would want me? I'm all messed up . I cant even make up my mind sometimes . I'll always end up making a bad decision , making a wrong move and caught myself in a bad situation . Will I be the prefect person just for him? Will I be the perfect best friends for her ? Will I even be the best for them? Why can't you accept me for who I am ? Why can't I have a normal day? WHY DO I FEEL SO ALONE? Why do I have to go through things alone? Am I really a burden? Is everything I do seems wrong ? When will I do things right? Can't I do something right for once? Why can't I have an immediate answer?Why can't someone answer my all of questions? Will someone be able to answer them with patience? Will anyone tolerate with my kind of behaviour and attitude? All this questions just state that only God knows the answer and we may have to find out ourself . But sometimes it feels like , I will never find an answer for my questions and I can never find the answer . It's just stressful .
How about you?Do you have any questions that seems like it'll never have an answer? I feel you bro ! Thanks for reading . I'll see you soon ^^
♫♪ Goodbye ♫♪