Will my questions ever have an answer?
Saturday 29 March 2014 | 11:18 | 0 comments
Hey !So , in this world , since the day we were born ,our mind will be full with curiosity . And when there's curiosity ,there's bound to be a lot of questions . Usually , when we were small , our parents would answer all of our question . Even if it's complicated to answer because we are so damn creative (Pat urself on the back bro!) . Even so , years goes by , and soon , you'll have to find ur own answers to ur question . No , I dont mean all the questions related to studies , I mean question about your daily life , friends and etc . Sometimes you can turn to someone and ask for opinion about them and get ur answers but some are just not meant to be answered or can't even find the right answer . You'll only wonder "Will my question ever have an answer?"
I dont share my problems , I stop sharing because , I couldnt find the answers I needed when I share my problems . Yes , yes , Sharing Is Caring . Someone gotta tell the person who made tht quote that not all things can be shared and when we dont share , it doesnt mean it's not caring ! No one understands me . Inside of me is a like a timid rat , trapped in cage , waiting to be free , to be rescued , to explode and to be told "There's nothing to be afraid of . I'm always here for you". I know , sounds like a fairytale which never happens . I don't show my true self to anyone . I'm like a 2 year old child , full of curiosity , excitement . For a 2 year old , happiness is the only emotion they have . Because most people would cheer a 2 year old up when it is crying . Trying their best to console the baby . I know I would when I see a baby cry . It's nice to have that feeling , y'know? To be consoled when you're down . Yes I have friends , I have family to turn to when I'm down. But I choose not to . Because they don't understand what I've been through . Yes , they're wiser , but damn , it's complicated. Even if I'm full with curiosity , I dont much problem when it comes to studying . I dont go blurr all the way . I normally catch things up easily . Even my Maths teacher said , "Cpt tangkap eh kamu Afrina . Bgusnya kamu" and my aunt "Aunty dlu tak secpt tangkap mcm kakak , adaorg kena ajar aunty , dua tiga kali , bru aunty dpt tangkap , but you kakak , teacher explained once , you understand the whole concept already . I'm impressed" Even when I catch my studies faster than my classmates , sometimes , I slow when it comes to reality . When I talk to someone , tht someone must have a lot of patience when talking to me , bcs , I tend to blurr out easily or become clumsy . I dont why .
Sometimes , when I'm alone in school or at home , or being scolded by someone . I tend to ask myself . Am I really that bad ? Am I not good enough? Do I really deserve all of these people ? Why do these people accept me? Why are y'all friends with me?I'm not even a good person , let alone , a better person to be with . Would they really accept my true colours? What will be my future with them? Will it turn out great if .... ? What can I do to make them happy? What did I do wrong? Why am I so stupid? Why am I so careless? Who would listen to me? Who would want me? I'm all messed up . I cant even make up my mind sometimes . I'll always end up making a bad decision , making a wrong move and caught myself in a bad situation . Will I be the prefect person just for him? Will I be the perfect best friends for her ? Will I even be the best for them? Why can't you accept me for who I am ? Why can't I have a normal day? WHY DO I FEEL SO ALONE? Why do I have to go through things alone? Am I really a burden? Is everything I do seems wrong ? When will I do things right? Can't I do something right for once? Why can't I have an immediate answer?Why can't someone answer my all of questions? Will someone be able to answer them with patience? Will anyone tolerate with my kind of behaviour and attitude? All this questions just state that only God knows the answer and we may have to find out ourself . But sometimes it feels like , I will never find an answer for my questions and I can never find the answer . It's just stressful .
How about you?Do you have any questions that seems like it'll never have an answer? I feel you bro ! Thanks for reading . I'll see you soon ^^
♫♪ Goodbye ♫♪
Repel ಥ_ಥ
Tuesday 25 March 2014 | 22:18 | 0 comments
Heyyo BloggersSo today I'll be talking about my school and my fellow friends.There's not much to talk about . It's not tht I hate school . It's just not interesting anymore .
So my best friends found new cliques . I admit it . New friends are awesome but some, tend to forget old friends. It kinda started when the school finally breaks the new when Randall got the most important job. I was proud because he's in the same class as me . Soon , people started to recognise him and suddenly , all the girls go crazy for him . Especially one of my classmates and the juniors. I know . It's not wrong for admiring someone , but to Qurratu and I , the situation is kinda bullshit -.- Randall has been in the school for 3 years , and now you guys have started to notice him? Come on =.= No , I'm not jealous . I have my own guy to be jealous with ~.~
So,when Randall was announced about his new job, my friend , Liz starts to go googly eyes over him . And since then she used me to be close with Randall . At first , I tease her by sticking near Randall , making him seat at her place . But soon after , Liz starts to say that "Randall sent me a kiss emoticon" and I was like "WTF R U TALKING BOUT?!" She and my other friends was shocked how I reacted . I know Randall quite well , I know he wouldn't send such a thing because at that time he had his own relationship problem and he still loves his ex . I told Randall what Liz said and Randall got quite shock. I asked him wht really happen and he said Liz was the one tht sent it.He gave me his FB password and I check . Guess what?Liz was lying ^^ She was the one who sent it. At that moment , I started to repel from my friends .
2014 came and I thought the topic about Randall was over because Liz said she like another person . I'm like okay , whutevaah . And my new year resolution started . My new cliques are awesome and fine but .. 2 to 3 months by and I started to lose interest . No, I dont hate them . I just got bored with them . Everyday they will be talking bout their crushes or their boyfriends *sigh* One will be busy settling with his partner tht wouldnt fucking die even if she said she would .Both of them would not just let go of the topic which pisses me off because I've been in tht situation . This particular guy was the wise on who advises me to let go of my partner years ago , but when he got another relationship , fuck all his advices! He didnt even listen to his own advices when he's in a relationship . Now he and his partner broke up , shit problems cant be settle because the girl was stupid .And I dont recognise him as my friend anymore . His attitude changed and really makes me feel sick+hatred =.= So , I repel to him too .
Other cliques would just be talking bout their crushes which wouldnt end *sigh* I dont know when will the story ends . They keep stalking their crushes . I would just be there and laugh or even sarcast them . One of them actually got her crush . I was happy for her . I was happy for everyone . Eventhough they would be screaming here and there which to me is unnecessarry . It just looks like ... I donnt even know the word. Even so , inside , it's just boring . It's like a love drama . The same scenes recaps in every drama and you'll be like "Ha!I knew this guy would be like this/the wife would cheat.I knew it!" . It's just an example but you get what I mean . It's just so cliche . So ,I repel to everyone . My friends would be grouping at one place , and I will be at my place , doing my homework,sleep or talk to my chinese friends. They'll come to me when they need help or in trouble . I even stop talking about my problems to them now .Yes,it is a burden and yes it's lonely . But I'm getting used to it . I'm getting used to everything now. I realised now tht my friends will leave me someday and friendship arent forever (Thx Keviin) . So now,when I come to school , I'll just be quiet ,let my friends talk , laugh and I'll just be there smilling .When inside I'm just lonely . Thanks to all my friends for being there for me before ^^ And I understand if u dont need me anymore .If you are my friend , and you are reading this , just act as if u didnt . It's kinda better that way :)
♫♪ Goodbye ♫♪
Hot chocolate :)
Monday 2 December 2013 | 02:07 | 0 comments
Assalamualaikum and Hey !It's been a long time since I've been blogging . I really wanted to make a new post but I was really caught up on stuffs like laziness(One big problem there),tuitions,studies and games.Yeah , I'm a gamer :P But I'm not the type of gamer where I dont sleep at all . No no no , I'm not tht kind of gamer alright? :3
So , my life is just fine . I think . Exam was great . I got 15 out of 40 . Even though I drop a few numbers than my mid-term . It was fine rather than being the number 35/40 or 25/40 . It shows that I can still do it . But I was so frustrated with my english paper. Well because I got a solid B . It's a B! Tht's like the second time I've got a B for my english . My mom was so angry with my english result . ~.~ I dont know whether I went overboard with my paper or something but get this . There's this one boy got an A for his test . Idk . Idk whether he cheated or something . It just doesnt seem right . So tht was my English paper .
What else? Oh! Yeah , There's this one girl . She's from Indonesia . Her name is quite unique . It's Ieja Silvana Maria . She's amazing . She's like a big sister too me . She's 19 . Eventhough I cant completely understand her , but she is totally amazing . I met her in one of my social games . When we got into IMVU she straight away made me her daughter . IMVU is like one big social game and somehow instead of making adopted sister/brothers ,we made a one big family . It's the game concept . Idk why ~,~ . So we got really close and I learned tht she is totally amazing , honest , sweet , caring . She's the bomb ! So , we were hanging out in our game , and she said she wanted to make a cup of hot coco . You know what is it right? It's chocolate ! Oh my gosh , I certainly and absolutely love chocolate ! I go crazy for them ! I've never thought tht I can actually do hot coco . So she said I can use water and some chocolate to make them but I can use milk as well . So tht night I went to Youtube and search how to make it . And it was super easy . Then I found something interesting . I can make hot coco using nutella! Oh my gosh , I never knew I can do thaat :O But problem is Nutella is like really expensive so I cant make hot nutella coco :/ Bummer huh? Yeah . sad life . But once I got some extra cash , I would totally buy the nutella and make my own Hot Coco , Nutella :D and some marshmallow mybe . Why ? Err , Because I can . Duh ~.~ .
I want to know how to melt those marshmallows though coz I dont really eat them and I've burnt them before -.- .Soo , yeeaahh . It's better if I melt them and put them in the hot coco . :D
P/S : Dia cepal mcm suaminya :3
Tht's all for today . ByeBye
xoxoxo
Meet My BFFS !
Thursday 6 June 2013 | 11:15 | 0 comments
Meet my friends!
This is just from an angle xD
Qurratu Aini , Syasya Athirah , Nur Syaida Husna , Dalila Aqilah
Dalila Aqilah , Qurratu Aini
Qurratu Aini
Syasya Athirah , Dalila Aqilah , Nur Syaida Husna
Shaihizatul
Syami Anne(white shirt) , Haidir (BesidesAnne)
Haidir , Syaboo
I've known Shaihizatul or Atoi and Qurratu or Qu since I was standard 5.
They are crazy . I have created monsterss :O .
NO worries ,I love them as much I love my family .
They are like my sisters . My crazy non-related sisters. :3
I've known Dalila when I was Form 1. She is how you say...
Manja . Hahaha . Seriously . She is like my lil sister.
I knw i am short but I was born ealier then them
and Dalila is the youngest :P
I've known Syaida and Syasya since I was in Form 2.
Dalila and I approached them . yeah we didnt
felt ashamed and stuff . We just went straight ahead .
Syasya is the most beautiful among us .
People wouuld always look at her. :P
I am not jelez if tht was you were thinking :P
I've known Anne , Haidir and Syaboo since I was form 2.
I met them in an online game call IMVU
It's an online game where we can chat with people
and interact with them .
they are crazy and fun to be with . Rofl
I've known Chan and Nadzmi in high school.
Nadzmi is a quiet-ish type , sort of. Chan is like
clumsy,blurr-ish ,and not much of annoying person.
Kevin and I were in the same primary school,
but we started being close during Form 2.
He's the guy I can count on about my problems :P
We figure that out around few days ago :3
I am glad to talk to someone about my problems :D
I've known Chan and Nadzmi in high school.
Nadzmi is a quiet-ish type , sort of. Chan is like
clumsy,blurr-ish ,and not much of annoying person.
Kevin and I were in the same primary school,
but we started being close during Form 2.
He's the guy I can count on about my problems :P
We figure that out around few days ago :3
I am glad to talk to someone about my problems :D
I love them all
Make sure all of you dont leave by my side
or I am gonna kill you -.-
or I am gonna kill you -.-
And I am sorry if I have hurt ur feelings
:3
Love youu allls .
kiss kiss
Nightmare T_T
Sunday 9 December 2012 | 06:46 | 0 comments
okay , First , Happy Holiday! How was ur holiday guys? Mine was fine until tht dreadful day at my hometown . It started like this , I went to my hometown a few weeks ago . My laptop was screwing up tht time -_- . So it happened like this ;
It was about 11 to 12 midnight ,I was online and doing my business . And my grandmother went outside to lock her gate , wht she didnt knw was there were 3 cats fighting beside(and outside) the door . One was grey like the normal wild cats on the streets , and two of them were garfield's colour . Of course it wasnt ours/mine/grandmother's cat , it was my grandmother's neighbour pets . So , as my grandmother went outside , those 3 cats were shocked and ran away into the road . Well my grandmother's house is opposite of the road ,wht do u expect from a village? The grey cat got hit by a car ! And my grandmother was like , soo shocked , she almost cried and felt guilty . She went inside the house and asked my cousin's help , but they were making a fuss so I came out to check wht was going on . I was in a different room btw . When I came out , I heard the story and went outside to check . The cat was dead , of course . But here's one thing , the other cat , the garfield coloured 1 , was near the road and I was a few steps from ze cat ! My cousins and I tried to stop it , but it wont budge -_- . Now I knw wht u all are thinking , why didnt I just save the cat coz the cat was just a few steps away right? I was thinking of saving it but I had a second thought , even if I ran to save it , it will eventually ran away and got hit by a car in another direction! Why would it ran away ? Bcoz , when my grandmother went out to just locked the gate , without even realize those cats was there , it ran away . You see now?
So , unfortunately , tht cat got hit by a car too , and blood spilled everywhere , it was a total crazy nighmare shit . Guess this , Half of the cat's face was gone and it's eyes , OMG ! We all pray after tht to ask for forgiveness .
Bye2
XOXO
Whom To Trust
Thursday 18 October 2012 | 23:18 | 0 comments
Assalamualaikum , Hi ,So today is the 19th October and I am free from PMR !! Woohoo !! PMR was scary but now I just have to think on how to spend my holidays . But I can't . Why? Because I am having this prob where my lil sisters (adk angkat . I cnt say they're my adopted sisters coz I didnt adopt them from the home for orphans)are fighting over me -'- .
See , my sisters are Faryna and Dhia . I've been with Faryna for long time , since last yr . I love her as much as I love my family . She's a pampered kid , cute , and rofl . I cnt really say it coz she meant everything to me .Oh! She's always a bit jelez .She cnt see me pamper other girls . x'D She's yr 5,live in JB n she has a bro tht I'm close with . I used to wc with her , I always look at her . Haa , memories :') . Then here comes Dhia . She's form 1 , she used to live in S2 but now she's in JB . Dhia is just so open minded n sporting for the matter of fact . I never seen her face , well once or twice but never like how I always webcam with Faryna . Story starts like this ;
I cant remember when . I knw I was in KL . Things were busy at tht time . Shopping , duh . ROFL . A GIRL HAS TO SHOP ! I was online by then . Faryna wanted to told me something but at tht time mom invited to go shopping n I haad to babysit Airil . So I off my fb . Soon , I was getting bz and she thought I changed . Then she told me she doesnt want to be my sister again and she told me to remove her .I said no -.- . She said she will do it herself . And I was like , K, go ahead . It's not tht I really wanted for her to delete me , it's just I had problems tht time , moody and she made me even moodier and angrier .
I didnt knw why she did tht but I was too angry too care bout it . Months pass I just knew she did tht coz Dhia scolded her . Ezri copy paste bout wht she thinks bout me . By tht time I was fighting with Ida (I'll tell tht next time) . I was to lazy to think bout it . I told Ezri tht I will solve tht prob just lemme solve one by one . 2 days ,ater , I said to him . I will not solve it . Fuck it . It's been months n now she has the guts to tell me wht Dhia had done? Why wouldnt Faryna defend herself ? If she really love me m she wouldnt let me go . N look wht happened . I mean right? This shit is like months n I have to rephrase tht memory to settle it . Let bygone be bygone . I have my own life to worry about . I asked Dhia and she said no . Ppl close to Faryna is like telling me to settle the prob whereas I dont want too!!
It's like I have to choose which sides I am on . Dude! I cnt choose sides! Faryna , u hv no proof tht Dhia scolded u n I cnt fix this shit until u hv proof tht Dhia really scolded you!! Think logic will ya? No proof , no talk . And if you think I change , well , u dont knw me and u dont knw wht I hv been doing . Damn girl . U knw I was hving PMR . Of course I will have no time for you . I had to STUDY . S to the T to the U to the D to the Y . STUDY . Check the dictionary for the meaning . You two are screwing up my life . I wish I wouldnt know u girls now for wht u both had done .
And thx to you too . I dont know Whom To Trust . :/
OMG!!
Friday 20 July 2012 | 22:28 | 0 comments
Hello , Whats up!So today just started fasting , and I'm dancing,singing and jumping to koreans songs . *it's a habit :O* . Lol . I know , korea fans r energetic , fanatic like wild . But I a counted as normal kays ? But my fav Korea groups are F(x) and Exo-k .
F(x)